Honestly, these Starbucks Vacuum Egg Bites are delicious
Once you’ve stupidly left your house without having breakfast, it can be hard to find something quick that doesn’t involve a disgusting number of carbs. There’s an endless stream of pastries available, of course, as well as all kinds of bagels, rolls and breakfast sandwiches, but these things will leave you overly full and then, a little later, tired and prematurely hungry again. . Enter, from all places, Starbucks. Literally: Walk into a Starbucks and grab an order for their new menu item, Sous Vide Egg Bites.
Now. They come in two varieties, one of which we’ll completely ignore. Egg white and red pepper? No thanks. Roasted red peppers are disgusting (they are) and by now everyone should know that besides being delicious, egg yolks are good for you. So we will instead focus on the other variety: Bacon & Mother Fucking Gruyere.
They are extremely simple and wonderful, the answer to (almost) all of my breakfast wishes. Served in a nifty little package containing two mini-muffin-shaped pieces, Egg Bites deliver on Starbucks’ promise of a “velvety texture” that “bursts with flavor.” The rich, creamy egg is beautifully offset by the salted, nutty Gruyere and the thin slices of smoked apple wood draped over the top. Yes, there is a lot of sodium and, yes, thanks to the bacon, there is also a lot of saturated fat, but only 9 grams of carbohydrates and 19 grams of protein.
If there is a complaint to register, it is the price. Here in New York, a pack of two will set you back $ 4.45 before taxes – not too much crazy, but crazy enough that I decided to try to approximate it at home. I sprayed a muffin pan with non-stick spray, combined eight beaten eggs with extra hot cheddar cheese and crumbled bacon, and baked them until they looked cooked. They were fucking disgusting – rubbery and oddly tasteless, although they were only made up of things that taste great. Maybe one day I can buy a legitimate sous vide appliance and perfect my own egg bites for a fraction of the cost, but until then the Starbucks version will do just fine.
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